Life- Living In The Change
What is my life like now?
Well......in order to appreciate what my life is like now, perhaps we should talk about what my life was.
I used to try to balance a full time job, designing fabric (and some projects), painting (trying to build an art career), being a wife, friend, and a part of a family. Oh! And trying to have a nice, clean home.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Let's not forget! And me regaining my health from a major auto-immune blow up in my life.
Everywhere I looked I saw room for improvement. Toooooooo much room for improvement.
I like success. I thrive in an environment that lends itself to me being successful. My life was not suited for success.
And I wasn't deeply happy.
I was happy on the surface, with some love to give the world around me, but when night time fell, and quiet was all around me, feelings of failure and not being enough echoed in my head.
I wasn't really happy.
And I strongly dislike feelings of failure.
When I sifted through the emotions I was feeling and pulled apart the fear, what I found is that the structure of my life did not suit me.
There was too much.
Waaaaayyyyyy, tooooo muuccchhh.
So. I did something about it.
This last week and a half has been full of moments that I wouldn't trade for any amount of money.
I can breathe.
I can actually paint from a deep place within.
I am cleaning my house.
I'm available to my man.
I make him amazing food.
We chase fog pictures together.
My mind, body, and spirit are available to see beauty.
I feel God all around me.
There is space in me to pray for the world and what is brought to my attention.
And I'm selling my art.
Yes.....it is happening.
And the more I educate myself about the art world and how I fit in it, the more empowered I feel to add my voice.
The question I ask:
Why did it take me so long to do this?
All along I knew something was out of order in my life.
I was afraid that my art calling was not enough. This gift of bringing messages into the world through images was not enough.
You know what.
Will I still dabble in a few little extra things?
We have been making a few plans in the Collins household that will bring additional support and stability to our lives.
But I will not give up the simplicity of living that I have begun to taste.
It tastes too good to not create a lifestyle of it.
Here are some pictures I took of fog chasing with Louis. There is no contest. The pictures he took are better. But mine contain my perspective and I like my perspective.
I wish I could bottle up the peace I felt this day like an elixir. It was truly amazing. I felt whole.
Look at your life and honor yourself.
Honor how you are made.
Build a structure of living that supports your nature.
This world needs us to be whole.
On the mission of bringing our gifts to the table of life.
Take care, my friends.
And be brave.